Aloha Rick!

Control the controllable!

I haven’t posted much here in a very long time….and the last handful were more on the fluffy side anyway, but that is a good thing as no news is good news right!  Fortunately my reasoning for updating doesn't involve me directly however it is still something that has affected me dramatically in the last 24 hours and feel an update required, even if just for my own later use as really making me think as the damn train is back and rolled right over me!  

A reference I fortunately haven’t used in years that many of you may recall from my days in Queens, and thank god not for same reason this time, but the train blindsided me again as I received word yesterday of the passing of a friend and fellow “survivor” in Rick Moss.  This is way too close to home and has really rattled me as he was supposed to be part of our little hui of throat cancer SURVIVORS yet in his case, it came back and this time he was not so fortunate…further the speed in which it all happened is just as frightening and to think he was about 5 years or so ahead of me since his diagnosis…so much for being a “curable” cancer!  WTF????   Frankly, this has not only blindsided me but has simply scared the shit out of me in a brutal reminder of what cards we have been dealt and of my own mortality in how fragile this life is.

Rick had not only become a friend over the years through our Boys Bunch group, but also part of a much smaller circle of us that all have gone through this experience and felt fortunate to use that survivor phrase-not a program I recommend but we all made it out the back end and have a bond that I can’t really explain in which we shared this experience and can interact and help one another as need be with our own horror stories, remedies and general life issues that plague us all as we all are different-Everything from swallowing and taste  issues, to neck spasms to general days of still feeling plain shitty due to some of the radiation damage will never go away but as we've been there and the general population hasn't, its a unique and welcome bond and I feel fortunate to have some of these guys to call on or assist!  He had always been amazed as to my progress and speed as to much of my recovery as there were things that I am able to do that even now, he still wasn't able too.  He had expressed some concern over some irregularities over the Holidays to me and I had learned he had to go do some tests last month, but as I mentioned earlier, he never got through the recovery process as I did and he indicated it was just more of the same so never did I imagine the next news would that of his passing-we are all supposed to have beat this damn thing by now!

I have spent much of last night and today back here in the blog and reflecting on my own journey-talk about stirring up nightmares for myself but the realization that I was able to survive the hell of my 2010 treatments and recovery by living the mantra of “control the controllable” and created an environment that allowed me to focus on ways to best help making things work themselves out for the best and survive!  I surrounded myself in as much of a stress free environment as possible by not dwelling or concerning myself with things, people or issues that didn't have my best interests in mind or that I have no control over and focusing on what was in the best interest of beating this beast without any negative influence.  That still needs to perpetuate today although in reality that hasn't been the case over the past year or so as I've slipped back into a "normal" life of sorts where the day to day decisions are predicated on different goals and the stresses that come along with some of those have worked their way back in a multitude of forms and that is simply not healthy. I've allowed myself to lose that focus and control in many ways,  on both a personal and professional level,  that have made for a less than perfect environment for myself and continued health and that needs to be addressed NOW as I am a firm believer that stress IS a killer and C thrives on it.  With my health in check, all else will fall into place where it is supposed to but without it…absolutely nothing matters!  


This is a very scary reminder of how fast things can go so terribly wrong and I need to take care of what I need to for me first and foremost so I can then be here to take care of all the rest as it falls into its rightful place in life:)

All my best and condolences go out to Val, Lian and Logan 


A rather timely post that showed up under my FB feed as was directing you over here as well and I rarely look at these too!  LOL
http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Mama Lee

So my Aunt sailed through town last week on her home ship the m.s. Crystal Serenity and mentioned she was disappointed I hadn't posted anything her of late.  OF COURSE NOT-and that a good thing as that means there is nothing to report thank you very much-Id like to keep it that way.  But per her request, the Sunday Honolulu Star Bulletin ran a great article on her so her is a post for her!

Locomotion gets 1st, but finishes 2nd

NAWILIWILI — Locomotion, owned by Dr. John Myhre, looked to be the sole leader heading into Nawiliwili Harbor Friday afternoon during the 2012 Kaua‘i Channel Race.
The Andrews 45, staying well ahead of three masts visible on the horizon, appeared to have the Nawiliwili Yacht Club 2012 Kaua‘i Channel Race in the bag.
That is, until she neared the Ninini Point buoy when, from behind the bluff, Kalewa, a 50-foot catamaran owned by Kevin Millett, appeared and barreled down on the monohull.
Both boats were at the easterly 15-20 knot winds and at the finish, Locomotion sounded the horn a scant nine seconds ahead of Kalewa, Locomotion logging an elapsed sail of 9:05:18 chased by Kalewa at 9:05:27.
“Following a 100-mile race, a difference of nine seconds is a really good race,” said Doug Gibson of the NYC Race Committee who recorded the finishes from the jetty wall area after the flotilla of 19 boats left Kaneohe at 7 a.m. Friday.
Locomotion corrected to 12:52:13 PHRF, good for second place in the PHRF A class, relinquishing her early lead to Trois Amis, a Kaufman 39 owned by Frederic Berg who crossed on a 10:28:54 elapsed sail and corrected to 12:37:01 PHRF for top honors in the PHRF A class.

Locomotion gets 1st, but finishes 2nd

2 Year Clearance Celebration!

Hard to believe I missed the date, but there is a previous post, "Friday, June 18, 2010-And then there were NONE!" that I was ecstatic about with the completion of all my treatment-In pain but we were done. 

Today, July 10, 2012,  I am suddenly giddy ecstatic again and didn't even expect it!

I went in to see the ENT for my scheduled 3 month follow up and after a few new tests, she proudly announced, again thank god, that everything looks great and we ran one more test.  Later here this afternoon she went on  very excited herself with those results to inform me  "You have cause to go and celebrate!  You have surpassed your two year anniversary with flying colors and that is the time frame that most concerns me for any type recurrence of your type of cancer and you have NONE-go grab Lisa and toast to your good health!"  Well I cant go get Lisa as she under the weather and has the boys but I find myself somewhat euphoric so going to go get in a swim on this beautiful Hawaiian afternoon and have a glass of wine at sunset!

Didn't expect this but boy does it feel good I admit!  Not to worry-I'm not done with my check ups-Its rather a comfort to have someone checking up on me every few months so I already have my appointment set for October but this is a milestone I like!

Happy 4th of July!

Make that 2!

WTH- Make that twice today Im sending this out.  Not a great week!  Prayers and blessings to all!

Venting

Sorry-had to log on here to forward my link and see I haven't had any updates so as long as I'm here-A quick vent as been a crappy week!

First off, I'm just fine-had the flu-that sucked, got sick earlier in the year but this was a full blown doozy of bug-however, I'll take that any day over the "sick" alternative right.  Work showing signs of life and been doing some great racing as we learn the boat.

Now to the vent-Got a frantic call from my mother yesterday afternoon asking how fast I could get to her house as my Aunt took a terrible fall.  Pam and I jet out of here and get to her house to see a sight I haven't seen in 10 years and made me nauseous to be honest.  To drive up and see all the Emergency vehicles all lit up outside as all I could think of was the last time...the day we lost Dad.  Anyway. I pull in behind the Ambulance and get upstairs to find my Aunt had tripped and fallen breaking her leg with a compound fracture of her ankle.  Off to ER-broken in 3 places and in obvious need of surgery.  The pain of resetting an injury like that and the fact they let us stay in the room was awful-A double dose of fentanyl or not, it was hundreds of times worse for her I know!   As bad as that is, I wake this morning to a message of a very successful surgery and things all good.  So under the circumstances that is terrific news.

I must say, there were some things going on in ER that are memories I wish would stay as such-The sounds, the questions, the smells, the pain, the memories YUK!  Have I mentioned how much I dislike Hospitals!

I then get in and check my e-mail.  Here I find a dear friend sending me a message she not going to be making it back here as she had hoped for any of our 30th reunion festivities coming up in June-A diagnosis of her own that has her in the same position I was back in January of 2010-Confused, scared and overwhelmed at what coming at her so quickly.  Hence my need to log in here and as much as I so hate to forward this to a dear friend for their own use, I do in the hopes it may be of use to her and her family.  Unfortunately I've had to do way to many times in the past few months but this particular one generated my vent.  Sorry

Jeff out